Kristal and Evan Meet the Family!

Meeting the family. A term that anyone who has ever been in a relationship is familiar with. Some people approach it with excitement, some with fear, some show up bearing gifts, some try too hard, some make bad jokes, some leave accepted, some leave rejected. It’s a big step in any relationship, usually reserved for only the most significant of others. For Kristal and I, we thought that date number 3 would be the best time to meet each other’s families.

The reason for the trip: Kristal’s cousin Jeanne was getting married. Kristal was in the wedding party. Needed a date. We hadn’t seen each other in 3 months. So why not pick Winstead, Minnesota as our meet up place from Doha and Auckland? When I got out to Minnesota I met up with Kristal’s other cousin (you will see a theme here), Blair, and her boyfriend Lynn. From the second I landed it was go time non-stop for 8 days. The first part of the trip was the four days in Minnesota. Made it out there in time for Wednesday night Bingo, helped decorate for the wedding, got a tour of Kristal’s home town of Waverly, spent time on a lake (I hear it’s the land of 10,000), and most importantly met Kristal’s ENTIRE family.

Now I understand that I have a small family. We’re talking two parents, one brother, four first cousins kind of small family. But Kristal’s family is HUGE!!! The wedding was about 400 people almost all related to the bride and groom in some way. Kristal has around 40 first cousins, both sets of grandparents, TONS of aunts and uncles, etc. Best part of meeting all of them? Kristal was nowhere to be found. This was the first time Kristal had been home in a year and was the end of her time with her family, so not only was she in the wedding but also was trying to make sure to see all her family before leaving again. That left me to hang out with her family all on my own. At first I kind of felt like they were babysitting me but then I remembered…I LOVE meeting new people!!! Being in Minnesota was a different world. A land of farms, hunting, big families, and keeping it local. A far cry from the suburbs of Long Island or life here in Doha. I was a bit intimidated at first, not being cut from the same cloth, but I admire a lot about how close Kristal’s family is and how important they are to each other. It was a privilege being able to spend time out in Minnesota and see Kristal’s old stomping grounds. After the wedding was over we had a flight the next day off to DC. When we left there was still SO much we wanted to do but we will have to save it for the next trip.

When we got to the airport in Minnesota both of us breathed a sigh of relief. We had barely spent any one on one time together and had spent days trying to talk to anyone and everyone running on no sleep and trying to be people pleasers. Once we got out to DC the trip was entirely different and was full of surprises. Kristal didn’t know where we were going, who we were seeing, or what we were doing. We had our own apartment from Air BnB, we got to tour around the monuments, shed some tears (that was just me) at the Newseum, avoided gun shots at the Navy Yard, and Kristal finally got to put some faces to the names she has heard over and over and over again. Shout out to Brandon for driving all the way down from Delaware to meet up with us on the Mall and for dinner. And a shout to everyone who made it out to Penn Social to meet Kristal. My family might be small, but Kristal got to meet 20 or so of the greatest people on Earth who she has heard so much about. Chris Regan came in from Baltimore, Anthony Russo appeared in the flesh, and droves of other made it out for our one night in town.

After DC it was up to NY. We went to NYC to have dinner with the one and only Sarah Marr. Followed by Spiderman on Broadway and then a day of exploring the city. Got to walk through High Line park, had lunch at the Meatball shop (place is seriously unreal), quick visit to Times Square, and then off to Long Island for meet the family part II!!! Now I know I have awesome parents, but man were they cool when Kristal visited. They were so welcoming, we had a great dinner with my mom under the moon light sky, dad woke up early to make us breakfast, and mom even gave us Christmas presents since she won’t see us in December!!! I think they were more worried about making a good impression than Kristal or I were…so go Denise and Don!!! While we were on Long Island we got to take a morning trip to the beach eat at Marsala and see some of the best local spots on the Island. The trip ended quickly especially because we were moving around so much. We went from having nothing but time to only a few hours and Kristal was on her way back to Auckland before we knew it.

The trip was a whirlwind. It had been three months since our adventures in New Zealand/Australia and it was incredible just actually being together. The whole long distance thing ain’t easy but we’re making it work the best we can. It was amazing to see friends again who I hadn’t seen in 6 months and to catch up with family who I haven’t seen in longer. The day before I left I made phone calls to all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc who I haven’t seen since moving to Doha and it was amazing to hear what everyone is up to. I truly miss being home but am still so happy to be here in Doha working on year 2.

Big updates for the time being, heading back to NY in two weeks (ridiculous I know) for the wedding of Wil Biddle and Jessica Young in Rochester, NY. Only in town for 3 days before coming back to Doha to go to Jordan for the Eid holiday with Brennan Biddle (FINALLY traveling together) and a clan of others. Those amazing parents I was talking about? FINALLY making a visit to Doha in January with Brandon too. And just found out I will be going to Nepal in March with a group of students for a service trip being accompanied by the irreplaceable Arooj Rana!!! Needless to say things never slow down here and I can’t wait for the next few months.

Last thing I want to share is a heart wrenching story published by a British media outlet about the laborers in Qatar. For all the things that impress me with Qatar there are definitely some that leave me wanting justice. It is a topic that I think about often and have been trying to make an impact on in very small ways. Would love to talk more about it with anyone interested but take a look at the video and article below:
www.theguardian.com/global-development/video/2013/sep/25/qatar-migrant-workers-world-cup-host-video

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/21/qatar-human-rights-sport-cohen

A Thank You to Qatar

This week I celebrate my one year anniversary of arriving here in Qatar. And what a year it has been. In so many ways being here in Qatar has exceeded my expectations and I can gladly say there is nowhere else that I would rather be. One thing that has stuck with me from my early experiences here in Qatar was the amount of complaints and negativity I heard from other expatriates living in Doha. I really couldn’t understand where this came from and people would reassure me “just wait until the honeymoon phase is over”. Well, after a year of being here I still think Doha is one of the best places in the world to live and consider myself incredibly privileged to be able to call this home. To celebrate my one year anniversary of being in Doha I want to write a little note to Doha just saying thanks…

Dear Doha. 

One year ago you welcomed me to a new home. This first year has gone by incredibly quickly and you have taught and given me far more than I could ever imagine. To be truthful, I was reluctant at first to call you home. How long would I be here? Is home really a place where you can fit all your possessions in two suitcases? Can home be a place where you have no friends and family? At the end of year one I am proud to say this is home.

In my time here in Doha I have gained access to experiences I could not imagine in my wildest dreams. In Doha, once in a lifetime experiences start to become once in a year or sometimes once in a semester. I have been fortunate here in Doha to have both financial stability as well as an incredibly generous amount of paid leave. In the US, two weeks is standard. In Qatar it is common to get 6 weeks or more. With this unique situation, I have been able to able to experience things I could only have dreamed of before. Doha has allowed me to watch of herd of elephants in Africa, see the girl of my dreams in New Zealand, to celebrate the 4^th of July on the streets of Bangkok, to see the underwater world at the Great Barrier Reef, to look out from the World’s Tallest building, and so many things in between. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of just how incredible of a situation it is in Doha and access to these opportunities. Where else can visiting 10 countries in a year with a full time job happen?!

 

In addition to experiences, Doha has taught me just how much I don’t know. Each and every day I not only learn something new but am also exposed to just how much I am unaware of. While in Doha  my global knowledge of cultures and regions has increased dramatically but is still alarmingly low. I have experienced an incredible amount of American privilege as nearly everyone I meet knows not only where I am from, but knows of my country’s politics, specific states, movies, music, and more. I wish I could say the same for my own knowledge of other countries. Each day I am challenged to think differently and reframe my former thoughts. In one year hear I have grown more than I would have in 5 years back in the US both personally and professionally. As I look to the next year I can’t wait to see what new lessons are in store.

 

Now all of this is not to say Doha is without its flaws. Another big lesson from Doha is resiliency. Doha is frustrating. Changing policies. Constant construction. Arbitrary enforcement of said changing policies (like my parking ticket last night...I didn't even know we had parking laws!!!). Lack of access to information. Transient population. Questionable human rights practices. Inequitable pay scales. And there are surely other challenges I could list. But Doha has taught me to be resilient. To take potential challenges and adapt to them. To take what could be perceived as a negative situation and find the best in it. To think more complexly about the big picture and not just the current moment. Am I resilient at all times? I wish I was. But it is something I will continue to work at and make the most of my time here.

When I first moved to Doha, I didn’t know what I was signing up for. My life was full of question marks. At the end of year one I am proud, fulfilled, and eager for more. It has taken time to finally feel comfortable in Doha. To be able to be myself in group settings. To connect with people from backgrounds I know nothing about. To find comfort in discomfort. This place has already shaped who I am in more ways than I am even aware. To say I am thankful to be here is an understatement and I want to continue to do as much as I possibly can to give back to a city and country that has already given me so much.

So Doha…I don’t care what they say about you…you’re alright. As long as it’s cool with you I want to keep hanging out and see what happens. Looking forward to another great year and whenever you’re ready to turn down the heat just let me know!!!