Kristal and Evan Meet the Family!

Meeting the family. A term that anyone who has ever been in a relationship is familiar with. Some people approach it with excitement, some with fear, some show up bearing gifts, some try too hard, some make bad jokes, some leave accepted, some leave rejected. It’s a big step in any relationship, usually reserved for only the most significant of others. For Kristal and I, we thought that date number 3 would be the best time to meet each other’s families.

The reason for the trip: Kristal’s cousin Jeanne was getting married. Kristal was in the wedding party. Needed a date. We hadn’t seen each other in 3 months. So why not pick Winstead, Minnesota as our meet up place from Doha and Auckland? When I got out to Minnesota I met up with Kristal’s other cousin (you will see a theme here), Blair, and her boyfriend Lynn. From the second I landed it was go time non-stop for 8 days. The first part of the trip was the four days in Minnesota. Made it out there in time for Wednesday night Bingo, helped decorate for the wedding, got a tour of Kristal’s home town of Waverly, spent time on a lake (I hear it’s the land of 10,000), and most importantly met Kristal’s ENTIRE family.

Now I understand that I have a small family. We’re talking two parents, one brother, four first cousins kind of small family. But Kristal’s family is HUGE!!! The wedding was about 400 people almost all related to the bride and groom in some way. Kristal has around 40 first cousins, both sets of grandparents, TONS of aunts and uncles, etc. Best part of meeting all of them? Kristal was nowhere to be found. This was the first time Kristal had been home in a year and was the end of her time with her family, so not only was she in the wedding but also was trying to make sure to see all her family before leaving again. That left me to hang out with her family all on my own. At first I kind of felt like they were babysitting me but then I remembered…I LOVE meeting new people!!! Being in Minnesota was a different world. A land of farms, hunting, big families, and keeping it local. A far cry from the suburbs of Long Island or life here in Doha. I was a bit intimidated at first, not being cut from the same cloth, but I admire a lot about how close Kristal’s family is and how important they are to each other. It was a privilege being able to spend time out in Minnesota and see Kristal’s old stomping grounds. After the wedding was over we had a flight the next day off to DC. When we left there was still SO much we wanted to do but we will have to save it for the next trip.

When we got to the airport in Minnesota both of us breathed a sigh of relief. We had barely spent any one on one time together and had spent days trying to talk to anyone and everyone running on no sleep and trying to be people pleasers. Once we got out to DC the trip was entirely different and was full of surprises. Kristal didn’t know where we were going, who we were seeing, or what we were doing. We had our own apartment from Air BnB, we got to tour around the monuments, shed some tears (that was just me) at the Newseum, avoided gun shots at the Navy Yard, and Kristal finally got to put some faces to the names she has heard over and over and over again. Shout out to Brandon for driving all the way down from Delaware to meet up with us on the Mall and for dinner. And a shout to everyone who made it out to Penn Social to meet Kristal. My family might be small, but Kristal got to meet 20 or so of the greatest people on Earth who she has heard so much about. Chris Regan came in from Baltimore, Anthony Russo appeared in the flesh, and droves of other made it out for our one night in town.

After DC it was up to NY. We went to NYC to have dinner with the one and only Sarah Marr. Followed by Spiderman on Broadway and then a day of exploring the city. Got to walk through High Line park, had lunch at the Meatball shop (place is seriously unreal), quick visit to Times Square, and then off to Long Island for meet the family part II!!! Now I know I have awesome parents, but man were they cool when Kristal visited. They were so welcoming, we had a great dinner with my mom under the moon light sky, dad woke up early to make us breakfast, and mom even gave us Christmas presents since she won’t see us in December!!! I think they were more worried about making a good impression than Kristal or I were…so go Denise and Don!!! While we were on Long Island we got to take a morning trip to the beach eat at Marsala and see some of the best local spots on the Island. The trip ended quickly especially because we were moving around so much. We went from having nothing but time to only a few hours and Kristal was on her way back to Auckland before we knew it.

The trip was a whirlwind. It had been three months since our adventures in New Zealand/Australia and it was incredible just actually being together. The whole long distance thing ain’t easy but we’re making it work the best we can. It was amazing to see friends again who I hadn’t seen in 6 months and to catch up with family who I haven’t seen in longer. The day before I left I made phone calls to all the aunts, uncles, cousins, etc who I haven’t seen since moving to Doha and it was amazing to hear what everyone is up to. I truly miss being home but am still so happy to be here in Doha working on year 2.

Big updates for the time being, heading back to NY in two weeks (ridiculous I know) for the wedding of Wil Biddle and Jessica Young in Rochester, NY. Only in town for 3 days before coming back to Doha to go to Jordan for the Eid holiday with Brennan Biddle (FINALLY traveling together) and a clan of others. Those amazing parents I was talking about? FINALLY making a visit to Doha in January with Brandon too. And just found out I will be going to Nepal in March with a group of students for a service trip being accompanied by the irreplaceable Arooj Rana!!! Needless to say things never slow down here and I can’t wait for the next few months.

Last thing I want to share is a heart wrenching story published by a British media outlet about the laborers in Qatar. For all the things that impress me with Qatar there are definitely some that leave me wanting justice. It is a topic that I think about often and have been trying to make an impact on in very small ways. Would love to talk more about it with anyone interested but take a look at the video and article below:
www.theguardian.com/global-development/video/2013/sep/25/qatar-migrant-workers-world-cup-host-video

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/21/qatar-human-rights-sport-cohen

A Thank You to Qatar

This week I celebrate my one year anniversary of arriving here in Qatar. And what a year it has been. In so many ways being here in Qatar has exceeded my expectations and I can gladly say there is nowhere else that I would rather be. One thing that has stuck with me from my early experiences here in Qatar was the amount of complaints and negativity I heard from other expatriates living in Doha. I really couldn’t understand where this came from and people would reassure me “just wait until the honeymoon phase is over”. Well, after a year of being here I still think Doha is one of the best places in the world to live and consider myself incredibly privileged to be able to call this home. To celebrate my one year anniversary of being in Doha I want to write a little note to Doha just saying thanks…

Dear Doha. 

One year ago you welcomed me to a new home. This first year has gone by incredibly quickly and you have taught and given me far more than I could ever imagine. To be truthful, I was reluctant at first to call you home. How long would I be here? Is home really a place where you can fit all your possessions in two suitcases? Can home be a place where you have no friends and family? At the end of year one I am proud to say this is home.

In my time here in Doha I have gained access to experiences I could not imagine in my wildest dreams. In Doha, once in a lifetime experiences start to become once in a year or sometimes once in a semester. I have been fortunate here in Doha to have both financial stability as well as an incredibly generous amount of paid leave. In the US, two weeks is standard. In Qatar it is common to get 6 weeks or more. With this unique situation, I have been able to able to experience things I could only have dreamed of before. Doha has allowed me to watch of herd of elephants in Africa, see the girl of my dreams in New Zealand, to celebrate the 4^th of July on the streets of Bangkok, to see the underwater world at the Great Barrier Reef, to look out from the World’s Tallest building, and so many things in between. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of just how incredible of a situation it is in Doha and access to these opportunities. Where else can visiting 10 countries in a year with a full time job happen?!

 

In addition to experiences, Doha has taught me just how much I don’t know. Each and every day I not only learn something new but am also exposed to just how much I am unaware of. While in Doha  my global knowledge of cultures and regions has increased dramatically but is still alarmingly low. I have experienced an incredible amount of American privilege as nearly everyone I meet knows not only where I am from, but knows of my country’s politics, specific states, movies, music, and more. I wish I could say the same for my own knowledge of other countries. Each day I am challenged to think differently and reframe my former thoughts. In one year hear I have grown more than I would have in 5 years back in the US both personally and professionally. As I look to the next year I can’t wait to see what new lessons are in store.

 

Now all of this is not to say Doha is without its flaws. Another big lesson from Doha is resiliency. Doha is frustrating. Changing policies. Constant construction. Arbitrary enforcement of said changing policies (like my parking ticket last night...I didn't even know we had parking laws!!!). Lack of access to information. Transient population. Questionable human rights practices. Inequitable pay scales. And there are surely other challenges I could list. But Doha has taught me to be resilient. To take potential challenges and adapt to them. To take what could be perceived as a negative situation and find the best in it. To think more complexly about the big picture and not just the current moment. Am I resilient at all times? I wish I was. But it is something I will continue to work at and make the most of my time here.

When I first moved to Doha, I didn’t know what I was signing up for. My life was full of question marks. At the end of year one I am proud, fulfilled, and eager for more. It has taken time to finally feel comfortable in Doha. To be able to be myself in group settings. To connect with people from backgrounds I know nothing about. To find comfort in discomfort. This place has already shaped who I am in more ways than I am even aware. To say I am thankful to be here is an understatement and I want to continue to do as much as I possibly can to give back to a city and country that has already given me so much.

So Doha…I don’t care what they say about you…you’re alright. As long as it’s cool with you I want to keep hanging out and see what happens. Looking forward to another great year and whenever you’re ready to turn down the heat just let me know!!!

 

Eid Mubarak: A Holy Month in the Home Land

August 8th marked the end of the Holy Month of Ramadan for Muslims across the world. This end of Ramadan is celebrated with a four-day Eid holiday. There are two Eid holidays in the Muslim religion, and this time of year is known as Eid al-Fitr or translated as Festival of Breaking Fast. This name is appropriate because during the month of Ramadan Muslims will fast with no food or drink from sunrise until sundown. Once the sun goes down, the first meal of the day is known as Iftar. This meal is generally shared with close friends and family. There is also a late night meal called Suhoor which is a meal meant to take place before sunrise to prepare for the day.

Ramadan began this year shortly after I left for SE Asia. I had plans of participating in Ramadan by fasting with many of my Muslim friends, but this would have been extremely difficult while traveling. So I decided instead to fast for the last two weeks of Ramadan when I returned from travel. The fasting itself was easier than I thought it would be. In the end it was more mental than anything else and after a few days your body adjusts quite well. Are you thirsty? Absolutely. Especially when you are craving water in a desert. Are you fatigued? Sure and you don’t have the same level of energy. Do you eat a TON at night? Not really because your stomach shrinks and after a few bites you are full. Overall fasting was a great experience and something I look forward to doing each year.

The best part of Ramadan for me was becoming closer with my Qatari friends. Ramadan is a time that really brings people together. Every nightly meal is shared with friends and family, there are many visits to people’s homes, and people socialize late into the night. Before Ramadan I had yet to visit the home of any of my Qatari friends. This is a true honor to be invited and my friend Sulayim was kind enough to host myself, Brennan, and two German CouchSurfers (yes…quite the crew!) for a traditional Qatari Iftar. We learned about the traditional foods, how people are served in the Majilis (hosting area of the home), and about family stories and histories. It was by far my best experience since moving to Doha and I was so thankful to have that opportunity. As Ramadan came to an end I was once again welcomed to Sulayim’s Majilis to celebrate Eid. On that same day I also visited with Mohammed Al Kuwari, another good friend. These experiences sharing holidays with Qatari friends has made me feel so much more welcomed and connected to my new home here. I hope to have more experiences like these in the future and can’t wait for another Majilis visit!

 

In addition to the local experiences, there is of course the lavish side of Doha. During Ramadan this is through Suhoor dinners at 5 star hotels that are nicer than any wedding I will probably ever go to. The way it works is that each night the hotels in Doha will host a late night Suhoor dinner. Usually starting at 9pm and running until 2am. It is a full buffet with foods from all over the world. I attended Suhoor at the Sharq Hotel, W Hotel, and St. Regis. Each had their own special flair with decorations, live music, and HUGE variety of food. These meals made you feel like a local celebrity and had you stuffed for the entire next day!!!

Overall I had an incredible first experience with Ramadan. I really admire how this time of year brings people together from both inside and outside of the Muslim community. I especially appreciated being able to connect with my Qatari friends in a more meaningful way. One of my other big takeaways from the experience is also the respect and admiration I have for Muslims in non-Muslim countries.  Living here in the Gulf there a lot of accommodations made during Ramadan to make the month more bearable. There are Ramadan working hours (usually people work 4-5 hours per day), restaurants are closed during the day to resist temptation, sunset is earlier (around 6:30pm), and it is generally understood that work production is slowed during this time for spiritual reflection. Compare this with Muslims in the US or Europe for example. Work expectations are the same, food and other sins are around you at all times, the sun might not set until 9:00pm, and no excuses can be made for when you feel “tired”. This does not diminish the sacrifices made by Muslims in the Gulf region by any means, but I believe that having the ability to change your daily schedule to accommodate for afternoon naps, family and friend support of fasting, combined with shorter days makes for a different Ramadan experience. 

It has really been a special time of year in Doha and we are on the brink of welcoming our newest incoming class of students. Orientation will start next week and another academic year will be kicked off. We have a BIG year planned in the Student Center and I am also looking forward to some friends and family visiting Doha this year. The next big change is Brennan moving to Dubai next week and we have a new roommate, Dazelle, moving in with us. Will keep everyone updated as the semester begins again!!! Talk to you all soon.

SE Asia: Chopping 101 Stories Down to 3

My summer travels have finally come to an end. And what a summer it was. The most recent set of adventures included a tour of Southeast Asia in Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia.  I went on this trip with friends from JMU (Sarah Marr, Samantha Marr, Morgan Kimberly, Melissa Lohrer, and we added a little bit of Soup along the way). The trip totaled 16 days, and as you can imagine, there are a TON of stories to share from it. During our trip we visited 9 cities and 3 countries in those 16 days. We were constantly on the move and our stops included:

• Bangkok, Thailand
•  Autthaya, Thailand
• Hanoi, Vietnam
•   Hue, Vietnam
•  Hoi Ann, Vietnam
•   Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam
•  Siem Reap, Cambodia
•  Phenom Penh, Cambodia
•  Ko Phi Phi, Thailand

There is no way I could capture the entire trip here so I will just offer three of the biggest highlights from the trip as a whole.

Ha Long Bay. A world heritage site, Ha Long Bay is a bay area with around 2,000 limestone islets that have been developing for 500 million years. This was one of the sites that we were most excited to see coming into our trip, and it did not disappoint. We spent 3 days and 2 nights in Ha Long Bay with some of the most interesting company you can find. We did a tour called the “Castaway” tour in which you spent one night on a boat and one night on a private beach/island. There was kayaking, high speed tubing, rock climbing, jumping from the top of boats, and much more. But the trip had the feel more of a Spring Break that it did a tour of a world heritage site. The entire group of about 60 people were between the ages of 20 and 30 led by tour guides who seemed to be inhuman going on no sleep at all. So aside from the daily activities and incredible scenery, we also had parties lasting well into the morning. On the trip we met a TON of great people from all over the world. We even ended up running into people from this tour in many of our later stops in the trip. One guy we met, Soup (yes…Soup), from the Netherlands ended up traveling with us for a few days and gave me a break from all the female travel companions! As you can imagine there are many more stories from this trip but I will let you get those from me individually!

 

Motor Biking to Hoi Ann. I love road trips. There is nothing better than getting in a car and just going. One of my favorite trips I took was with Sean and Travis when we drove around the entire US in just over 3 weeks. Driving Pacific Coast highway in California was one of the best moments of my life, but Motor Biking to Hoi Ann really gave it a run for its money. When we left Hue to head to Hoi Ann we had the option of renting a motorbike with a driver to take us on the 6 hour journey. If you are EVER given the option of taking a motor bike…Take. The.  Motor. Bike.  We each had our own driver since not only did we not have experience driving these bikes, the roads were INSANE and would likely have died if we tried to drive ourselves. My driver’s name was Duc and we had conversations about the Vietnam War, about his life in Vietnam, his thoughts on Americans, and about his family. All while weaving in and of traffic up a hill! The 6 hour journey to Hoi Ann took us through rice paddies, sprawling countryside, past Kristal clear blue waters, and through winding one lane roads up hills. There were moments where we weren’t quite sure if we would make it, but in the end it gave us the best scenery views of the whole trip. We met some people who were taking motor bikes through all of Vietnam, and that would be QUITE the commitment. The 6 hour journey did us just fine and then we got to enjoy the beauty of Hoi Ann, my favorite stop of the trip.

Killing Fields and S21. Although this experience was by no means pleasant, it was by far the most impactful of the trip. Between the years of 1975 and 1979, Pol Pot and his regime brutally murdered one third of Cambodia’s population (approximately 3 million people). Cambodians were run out of their cities to move into the countryside where they were forced to work in rice fields which doubled as genocide camps. Over the course of just 3 days all of the cities in Cambodia were evacuated and killings began. The killing field we visited was called Choeung Ek and was located about 30 minutes outside of the Phenom Penh. Choeung Ek served as a memorial, museum, and educational tour to share the atrocities that took place during those four years. At the fields all visitors are given audio tours that take you through the grounds and provide context to the actions of Pol Pot and his regime. As you walk through the grounds you walk past mass graves, piles of bones and clothing, listen to the stories of those who lost loved ones, and try to imagine how anything of this magnitude was humanly possible. On the audio tour it was explained to us how these murders were executed and the brainwashing that took place. Sayings such as “better to kill an innocent by mistake than to spare an enemy by mistake” were commonplace to give workers a rationalization for their actions. After visiting the killing fields all of us were in quite somber moods and feeling incredibly thankful to have been born to a country with political stability. 

 After leaving the killing fields we visited one of the torture prisons right in the heart of the city, S21. This torture prison was a converted school in which people were brought there to admit to crimes they did not commit. Prisoners would be held for months at a time before admitting and signing documents that stated crimes they could be persecuted for. The images of prisoners were disturbing, especially the personal accounts that were written. Having seen both of these sites in the same day, it was difficult to capture what your emotions were. It is inconceivable to think something like this occurred just over 30 years ago. It makes you question human nature. How is there no outside intervention? How much do you take for granted in your personal life not having to deal with this kind of brutality? We spoke at length about the sites trying to answer our own questions and we will surely be learning more now that we have returned. Pol Pot was removed from power in 1979 by a group of Cambodians supported by the Vietnamese army. Charges were never brought against him and he died 20 years late in his home. The same political party has been in power since 1979 and there are elections taking place on the 28^th in which many Cambodians are hoping for change. So we will be watching the elections closely hoping that Cambodians experience some freedom from their haunted past.

 

Now this is just a VERY small snapshot of my time in Southeast Asia. There were also questionable bathroom massages, adventurous foods (ie. scorpions, frog legs, snake, crocodile, kangaroo, etc), Muay Thai fights at bars, incredibly kind service, BANANAS!, the best sandwich you will ever have, street food, postcard quality beaches, and a FULL cast of characters we met along the way. If you want to see more of what we did on a day to day basis Sarah kept an AMAZING blog for the trip here:

http://sarahstreetsauce.blogspot.com/

I hope you enjoy some of the pictures and get the chance to visit SE Asia at some point. It is an incredible part of the world full of welcoming people, incredible history, and pieces of paradise. I feel so fortunate to have taken the trip and owe a HUGE thanks to Sarah Marr for organizing the trip from the start. It was amazing to spend time with old friends on this adventure and can’t wait for the next one!!!

For now, I am back in Doha celebrating Ramadan. I have been fasting this week and enjoying the sense of community at Iftars (meal after sundown) and Suhoors (late night meal before sunrise) all week. At work we are preparing for student trainings, orientation, and Fall programs. It feels great to be back in Doha and settled (aka not living out of a backpack).

Some sad news from Doha is that Brennan will be leaving in about a month to move to Dubai. He had some issues with his job here in Doha and it was necessary for him to look for a new one. Unfortunately the best opportunity came from over in Dubai (only a one hour flight away). At least he will still be in the region but he will be missed greatly. And right when we were just getting started, he heads away. We will just have to make the most of his last month here and now there will be a lot more weekend trips to Dubai than before!!!