In a lot of ways this is probably something I should have
written about when the Witt family came out to Doha last January for a visit.
There have been a lot of highs and lows from moving abroad as it relates to my
family. This week the last of my living grandparents passed away and have been
forced to go through the grieving process 9,000 miles away from family. While
this has been difficult it has also made me reflect on how lucky I am to have
the support of my family.
When I first decided that I would move to Doha it was a
shock for my parents. Even though we had been talking about it for quite some
time, when I made the decision it was not easy for them. In particular my mom
struggled a lot with me living so far away. Is it safe? How can we communicate?
Will you ever come home? Will you go off and get married there never to
return?! We spent weeks and weeks in constant conversation (and sometimes
battles) about me moving to Doha. Even after the move took place when I
returned home there was hostility about me leaving the family. It made the move
stressful and although the concerns were coming from a place or care, it made
me feel a lack of support.
I say all of this to lay the context for the reality. The
reality is in many ways my time abroad has brought me and my family closer
together. We Skype every Sunday to catch up about what happened that week,
something we didn’t do when I was living in DC. I have cherished the times I
have gone home and because our time is short we make the most of it. We have
shared experiences, like their visit in January for us to experience a new
culture together. And as a whole I feel like we have a closer understanding and
appreciation of each other than ever before.
And this brings us to the loss of my grandmother, Dorothy
Witt. At 92 years old it is easy to say that she lived a full life. And her
passing was not a surprise for the family as her health has deteriorated
considerably over the last few years. But one of my most difficult moments of
living abroad has been this, and not being able to be there with my family.
Although life abroad may seem like it is one big adventure and endless
opportunity, there are plenty of moments where you stop and think…is this
selfish? Am I doing the right thing? What are my priorities? What should they
be?
This week has been a big reality to check to make sure you
spend more time with the ones you love. And to not take that time for granted
(I know this is cliché). The reality is while I have been abroad I have
choices. Do I go home for holidays? Or travel? Do I Skype with Mom and Dad on
Sunday or go out with friends? Do I keep in touch with those back home? Or make
excuses for being “too busy”? A commitment I have made for this year is to get
home more often, spend more time with family, and re-connect with those I may
have lost touch with. While my grandmother’s passing has been humbling I also
want to be able to celebrate her for the great life she led. I wrote a short
note to her that will be read at her wake in my absence that I will include
here. Living abroad is full of difficult decisions and I can only hope to make the
right ones in the future.
Grandma-
I have been incredibly blessed to have you as part of
my life for these 26 years. You have inspired me in my ways. You have taught me
about the importance of family, about the importance of love, and how to live
life to its fullest. That is something I will always remember about you and Pa.
You found the joy in each day, and never let anything keep you down. Even as
you got older you had a spirit that could not be broken. Your quick
"witt" (get it?) and sassy comments always brought a smile to our
family. Your body may have been weak but your mind was always sharp.
You approached life with a sense of humor and a sense
of wonder. I will always remember the amazing support that you and Pa were for
the family as we grew up. And as you grew old I will always cherish our
conversations about your childhood, raising your three crazy boys, but most
importantly of the adventures you and Pa shared. I am so thankful for the time
we spent together and wish that I could be there today. Even though I am 9,000
miles away I am thinking about you and know you are even closer to me now.
Although this is a sad time, we take comfort in you being in a better place. So
let's celebrate the incredible woman that was Dorothy Witt. And do us all a
favor...say hi to Pa for us. We miss him too!
With Love,
Evan
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