What I have learned from long distance...

This post really goes hand in hand with Kristal moving to Doha. Never did I think that I would be one for a long distance relationship. Plenty of fish in the sea, why date long distance?! But after last summer’s 8 Day First Date I found myself in the midst of a long distance relationship that covered 9,000 miles and 24 hours of flying. While I am SO thankful it’s over, I do think it taught me a lot. So here’s some random thoughts about long distance relationships as a whole.

They’re awful. That truly is my first thought about them. They get so romanticized mostly from movies, or pinterest, and definitely Buzzfeed. But the reality is that they are incredibly difficult. They are not heroic. They should not be a bucket list item. It should not be something you strive to do. There is definitely a silver lining to them, which I will get to in a bit. But I need everyone to know…they suck.

A big part of being in a long distance relationship is learning to treat others how they want to be treated. Long distance tests you in a lot of ways and people operate differently in them. For example it took Kristal and I a while to figure out the whole communication thing. Saying “Good morning” and “Good night” to me was HUGE, for her it was no big deal. Communicating during the day for me often slipped my mind but the little check ins meant the world to her. So you are taught that just because you think something is important doesn’t necessarily mean the other person knows that. You are taught to figure out the needs of someone else thousands of miles away and find a way to meet them. This is no small feat.

On the topic of communication, this might be the biggest thing it teaches you. When you are in person you can pick up on someone’s body language or you are around them all the time so you can tell if there is something wrong. When it’s long distance you can go weeks hiding behind Skype calls, whatsapp messages, or emails. If something is on your mind you need to say it. No matter how big or small it is. This can be challenging at times because it can feel like there’s just alwaysss something. But it makes for a more open, honest, and trusting relationship. I really feel this is needed for any relationship but is absolutely vital in long distance.

And now for the silver lining! If I had a dating resume, the 15 month long distance relationship would be right at the top of it!!! Now that it’s all over, I am actually incredibly proud of it. It was one of the most difficult things I have done, I don’t want to do it again, but gosh was it something to brag about. I have a profound and new found respect for those that are in and out of long distance frequently, especially those in the armed forces. It has built character, has given a great foundation to our relationship, and pushed us in more ways than we would like to recall. Now we can look back laugh and say “That wasn’t so bad!” Fully knowing in the moment it felt like it would never end.

All in all I wouldn’t trade a single day of the long distance now that we are finally together. All seems worth it after having been to our witt’s end (haha) and back. Looking forward to the start of “normal” with Kristal here in Doha and we are both cheerleaders for anyone in long distance now!!!